I’m thinking about you Dad

Got a bit of abrupt news an hour ago about my dad. My step-mom told me to pass the phone to my mom, as she was over at my place so that she could talk to her. I already knew something must be up and that wasn’t good. My stomach pretty much got knotted and my eyes teared up. My mom passed the phone back to me and my step mom tells me, “your dad has had a heart attack”. I think I pretty much crumbled. I was writing an blog entry not even 2 hrs before about my grandpa, my dad’s dad, and when I was writing it, I thought to myself I needed to call my dad and at the same time also got this nauseous feeling/emotion inside but kinda brushed it off. Don’t know if that was a weird intuition telling me something was up with my dad but it was real.

My step  mom called me back and informed me that my dad was not going to need heart surgery and that they were putting in some stents. I’m soo thankful he does not have to undergo heart surgery, but I’m scared for him non the less. I love you dad  <3 Please let this be the one and only incident you have to go through like this …please.

Dear Grandfather (I wish I could have met),

So apologies in advance for those following along. I didn’t realize that I had some how gotten off course with my blog entries…so here we go with trying to get back on course!

This letter is to someone I wish would I could meet, and that would be my Grandfather Leo Padilla, my dad’s father. You passed before I could meet you.

Growing up everyone told me how much my grandfather loved lil girls, as our family was male heavy and how he would have spoiled me rotten, as I was the first girl born of the Padilla family kids. I wish I could learn more about you and your story. What you remember from growing up, how you came to the states, what you remember being told of your birth, etc. Our family history I feel like is a mystery and hidden with you. You must have been an amazing man, father, husband and military man; as my dad has been absolutely one of the most upstanding men I’ve ever known, and my grandmother had nothing but positive things to say about you. I like to look at you picture and think about how your tone and voice would sound. How you would have been a grandpa that told us those silly stories and chased us calling out ‘mija’. I have one of the many porcelain German dolls you bought in Germany on your travels in the military and will cherish it for forever. I wish I would have had the opportunity to have met you, but our day will come.

Until then. love you Grandpa <3

 

Dear Mom, Dad and my second mom,

Dear Mom, Dad and my second mom –

This is probably going to be a lil hard for me to fully express how appreciative I am for all three of you.

Mom I think you question or stress so much if you are doing the right thing or that you weren’t able or aren’t able to help me as much as you can and I know you help me as much as you possibly can when you can, and for that I thank you . Thank you for being the best mom, and helping me grow into the woman I am today. Thank you for teaching me to be a lil more outspoken, god knows I’m not a vocal one and you are and it’s finally starting to rub off on me in my adult years. I hope you understand that I believe you have made a beautiful, smart  woman, that can do anything she sets her mind to, because her mom taught her to believe in herself. I want to commend you on raising me – I know I’ve probably tested your patience a time or two, but you were always there for me. Thank you for always keeping that door open for anytime I needed talk. You’re not only my mom but a best friend.

Dad you are definitely one of my biggest role models. Always wanting to give me more than you ever were given… I want you to know, that even though you couldn’t always physically be there, due to work / military obligations I have never thought you were any less active in my life. You have helped me financially, mentally and emotionally more than I can ever express thanks for. I feel blessed to have such a father like you because I know that you truly are one in a million and not everyone gets the experience that I have had. You area  big part of the reason why I am the way I am today. The best advice you ever gave me that will forever stick with me was “Look where you’re going, not where you’ve been”. At the time you meant it in a literal sense, but as I grew older those words spoke in a larger scope of my life. Thank you Dad for always being my encouragement, my strength, my white knight – I will always be your “baby”.

And to my step-mom, April, whom I would call my second mother. Where do I start to explain how blessed I am to have you in my life. You’ve been absolutely amazing. I’ve shared some of my deepest conversations and secrets with you, my emotions and tears and you’ve been nothing but supportive since day 1. I do consider my dad to be quite the catch and anyone to have him should be lucky, but just as so, he’s absolutely lucky to have an amazing wife such as you. Your patience is indescribable – and I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for you. I’ve inherited an amazing family via you. Thank you for EVERYTHING, and though that maybe a vague statement I truly mean EVERYTHING.

If it weren’t for the three of you, I wouldn’t have been molded into who I am today. I am forever grateful and blessed to able to call myself, your daughter.

Love you all,

Star aka “your baby girl”